Self 1
ikari shinji
episode 20

                                     


           My hands. 
           It was with my hands. 
           I almost killed with my hands. 

           A puppet. 
           I became a puppet. 
           A puppet controlled by NERV. 
           A puppet controlled by Father. 

           Father. 
           Why yet I still call him Father. 
           He is not my Father. 
           No. 
           He has no regard for life. 
           Now. 
           Now, I understand my Father. 

           I value life. 
           I value life. 
           I value life? 
           Do I value my own? 

           The sound. 
           The sound of the Evangelion being destroyed. 
           The sound of a soul shrieking in pain. 
           The sound of my helplessness, I do not want to cause pain. 

           I do not want to fight anymore. 

           The sound of metal, twisted, cracking, crackling. 
           The sound of blood, flooding the streets, the forest, the buildings. 
           The sound of the entry plug, 
           Metal crunching, crushing Touji, 
           Obliterating a human life. 

           In my hands. 

           Yet, it was not my hands. 

           I do not with to fight anymore. 

           My mind. 
           The Evangelion, no, reclassified as Angel, 
           In my mind. 
           The sheer void of agony, uncontrolled, 
           In my mind. 
           My soul sperated from self, my body, not responding, 
           To my mind. 

           Not responding, 
           Are my hands. 

           I will not fight anymore. 

           I go now.